idk man :D so booored

I'm going to bed
and your smell still lingers
in my sheets

I'm sleepy
and keep sensing your presence
eventhough you're not here

im dreaming
and you're here
and your gentle lips
knock me out
split me into atoms
only your arms around me
keeps me together

I'm soaring
and you're fading
I'm alone
but at one with the world
even our shitty neighbors
can make me smile

I'm falling
my screams drown
in comparison to others
the world is burning
and you're gone

I wake up

and you've forgotten my name

uuuh letter O:

So.. I wrote a letter ^^" but I don't  think I'm going to give it away.. instead I'll post it here :D ~genius~

Dearest
How shall I ever survive?
I cant stand waiting, I have to see you again. The distance seems endless and time barely passes, as if it has been decided, there be eternity 'til I shall gaze upon your face and take your hand, eternity for me to be near you again.
Then so be it.
Because neither distance nor eternal waiting can stop my loving you, in this way that I do.
You are the highlight of my day, a sunshine judt waiting to break through the clouds to once again lighten up everything around you and with it my day.
the thought of seeing you again is what lets me make it through the day. Knowing that with second that passes and every single breath I take, I some one step closer to being with you again.
Needless to say, I miss you, and you calming voice, more than anything.
Looking forward to seeing you.

Sincerely yours

-c
xoxo

I don't really know why its such a big deal though?

So I'm feeling like staying up late :3 reading this semi-sad poetry... and this is most likely gonna be a mashup of fragments from different poems or short stories that I've read during tonight ^^ none of this is my own all creds. to ~deadorsleeping @deviantart ^_^

I want you to know that I miss you

Every single second of every single day,

But I don't want this anymore. 

I don't want to worry about when I 

Will see you next, or whether or not

You'll feel like talking to me today. 

I think I might need you,

But here's the thing:

I really wish I didn't. 

I wish it was you,

And not me.

You are a hand for him to hold

While he thinks of her

And tries to forget the emptiness

And the fact that he is alone. 

I don't regret it. 

Not yet.

My sheets are crumpled from

Being horribly wide awake 

And restlessly unconscious,

But they still smell like you. 

And it is achingly cruel. 

My hands don't fit in yours

But I keep trying to force them to.

And I know you will let me 

Because I am weak and I

Will undress when you ask me to, 

But I really hope you don't.

And I can feel you hand slipping

From mine even though I beg

You to stay because I hate

The word goodbye and how

You look as you walk away. 

The crying came the day you ripped

My heart out of my chest and carried

It with you as you walked away. 

And you have still never returned it. 

Am I alright? 

No, I don't think so.

I'm not sure if I ever was. 

I told you how I loved you before

You left, but you didn't care. 

And you don't now.

I hope you miss me a little

Like I miss you.

And I wish that you loved me

Like I did you.

It hurts to remember all the 

Nights we spent together

Because I now know that

They were all a lie. 

But I actually believed you

When you said that you cared.

And most of me still wants to.

And when you close your eyes to sleep,

Know that I am alone and curled up

In a ball trying to keep myself together. 

Sleep will not be so easy when 

When you're not in my sheets.

The loneliness swallows me whole

And I can't escape its grasp. 

The tears continue to fall

With no shoulder to contain them.

Sorry for the long post ^_^"

hope you're having a great day/night :) and if your not having a great night/day then I hope for you that it turns better c:

love 

-c

Everyday I'm tumbelin'

Yay tumblr!

Oh god what have I done! o___o

well.. time to explore the deapths of Tumblr i guess xD

Have a contuined awesome day/life/week/months/year/what ever I don't even know .__."

Boredom and rainybowzies

If only it could be true...

I keep having these dreams
Of you and me
Feeling alone but being together
When I wake up
you've left my side
leaving all loneliness behind
I never thought I'd feel like this

I keep having these dreams
Of you and me
So in love, that every touch
seems like a new spark
But when I wake up

You've left my side
Leaving no trace
I never thought love could be like this

I keep having these dreams, you see
Dreams where you hold and love me
Dreams where you know
All the things I dare not say
Dreams where all I see in your eyes is love
And you whisper of eternal love

But the reality is cruel
And I'm only another little fool
I'll never know how you feel
or if any of it could become real
For all that really matters
is your happiness

Your ignorance seems lethal to me

I wuz not sad :I

I was not gonna be sad,I swear I tried to stay happy, but I failed... I just wanna die... It's not fair! why can't I be as happy as they seem? they're happily in love, sneaking of in the middle of class, together, though most people don't know... I'd want to be like that? so how come I can't? :(

I guess it's because I'm busy? unlike most of my classmates, I tend to do all of my homework, and send in all of our reports and essays, in good time, which means not the night before due date.
And it takes alot of my sparetime I know that, but I still get alot of sleep and I try to seem as happy as I can :I

But as soon as I'm alone, I get an urge to curl up in the corner and cry untill there's nothing left inside of me. Everything just gets worse... I guess I just can't really cope with lonelyness...

I'm sad, oh so sad.

There are tons of beautiful young girls out there.. but I won't ever be one of you
So please, let me just sit here for a while, pity my self
and start digging a grave for a less beautiful mind....

God gave us
Eyes to see
Smiles to give
Lips to kiss
Hands to hold
And minds to think of one another
But to me these things don't seems to come easy

It seems to be
That the world and me
Have lost our beauty
If we ever had any

Our Love

Oh darling
We could have a ball
You and I
A privat little war
Only let the world see our smiles
As we kill eachother softly
Never letting go
Breaking every bone

Oh darling
we could have a feast
you and I
release the inner beasts
Tears and blood
Unite in a sweet sacrifice
no one survives

Oh darling
we could celebrate
you and I
Each others deaths
Women will cry, Children shall weep
but no one will ever see
what we hid underneath

Oh darling
Let us disappear
you and I
into the night
and let them sleep tight
under the bloody stars

True story bro :s

Well.. I haven't been feeling well lately... and since this seems to by my spot to unleash the feelings that I hide everywhere else I just have to get this of my chest... even though I know it wont make anything any better.

I hate myself... or well... I have learned to tolerance myself but Me and myself don't really get along that well.. at the boarding where I was last my self hatred wasn't really that big a problem, because I would have friends and people that loved me, around me at all times. Seeing how that could live with me made it easier for me to respect that I was the way that I am. But now as all my dearest friends are far away, mentally or physically, it seems that I can't  bear my own inner struggles.
   Please don't misunderstand me. It's not like I don't have any friends where I am right now, it's just that they're so much more perfect then I can ever be, and people just love my friends, when they see me as more of an freak or loner or simple just an outsider beyond saving. And because I feel like thay see me that way I don't really feel welcome, which is probably totally bull-shit because I'm saving all their asses at least once a week when I give them our homework. Well.. my newly found friends (whom I looooove <3) are gettin hit on by guys I've been crushing on for months now, and this is one of the main reason for me to look upon myself as a worthless stupid imperfect creature. And this hatred so to say, against my own being is devouring me, Everyday it gets a little worse and I just don't feel like going through it, but I don't know how to end it. everyday I get more depressed and angry, and I let this anger out on my surroundings.. I hurt people around me and I point out their flaws all the time, I push them harder then I should and I feel so guilty all the time, because I don't want to treat my friends like that, they don't deserve it, but they don't know anything about how I feel - which means I don't have anyone to talk to about all these things, instead I just think about it and I know I'm just another teenager, and there are probably thousands out there who feel like me, but that just makes me even angrier, because even tho' I know I'm not alone I just keep on complaining all the time.. Like some little spoiled brat.. I HATE IT!!!

I'm really sorry that I wrote that much about nothing.. and if you read this I apologize for my being.

Please don't hate me, it makes everything so much worse.

Blue Thursday

I tell you I love you
and you say you love me too
We're living a perfect illusion
where I know parts and bits about you
and you barely know me at all
we keep each other safe
humans won't ever be perfect
and I ask you doubtfully
"Will it ever REALLY be worth it?"
I keep trying to repress my feeling
for nobody to get hurt

I hide everything from them
And sit here with you
desperate thought acquires my mind
what if I'd let them see me
when my creativity floats
If I'd let them know my true self
Or if I was more open to the world
I'd do just about anything
just for you to see
anything I could be

The poem Is my own but the picture is from a wonderful movie by Tim Burton called Corpe Bride <3

Please... don't hate me

Alrighties...
"Everything sounds creepy when you're not wearing pants" - new girl

Right.. anyway...

Lately I've been having that splendid feeling that my life is slowing going directly to hell, I've been stressed 'bout my homework, not doing it at all, wayyyyy to sleepy all the time, and I have this like... depressed feeling in my stomach half the time when I'm home so... I'm just being nerdy and lonely and not talking to anybody about this and thought:
Hey! You have a blog right? Lets post every thought you have right now, on that blog :D It's not like anybody you know is ever gonna read that! ;D ( oh dear god I truly hope not o.o )

Well.. typical teenage girl situation going on here so.. nothing to do here :flies away: right?

I guess.. I just have to get used to being this much by myself... It's just starting to bother me... I mean... last year I barely had any time where I was just me... all alone o.o and now at least 40% of my wake hours I'm just sitting not knowing what to do... and defiantly not feeling like doing my homework D:

I got my midterm grades last friday... and it's not like they're bad or anything... actually they're alright, and would be satisfacting for the most people... I just can't help it but feel disappointed ):

I guess I'll be okaii soon...


All the best of luck in this mad mad world my darlings <3








Keep on aiming for the blue blue sky
There ain't nothing wrong with crying
we all get hurt sometimes
I got hurt... before I found my way
back into your arms

wee :D

Do you feel the magic?
It takes my breath away
this great horrifying
enchanting feeling
of which I can't let go
Nobody can ever know...

How you make my world shine
You're the only thing I look forward to
Everyday
The moments spend wishing
for perfect moments
and the nights spend crying
hugging a pillow tight
why wasn't it you?
charming, take away the pain

Eyyo 8D

This bloggin thingy is running dead o.o Mainly cuz my time is bein spend watchin old Batman movies and freakin out bout guys and other random topics :D <3

rainybowz to youu
but I'm bout to go out
I can't stop breathing
But I don't want to keep living
Not in this skin
Too much time spend on nothing
Dreams bout your arms
Your lips
my heart races
Time passes
But I don't seem to be moving
tape and sciccors
like rape faced geeks
such as my best friends <3
but they still don't know nothing
And I'm silently breaking down
Tears come easier when you're alone
Nobody must know
fast breath
keep stealing
a little more time
it'll be over soon
it would take so little
for you to see
my mind has left me
heart gone crazy
water like fire
just keeps running
the curse of the living.

Face Paint due to boredom x3

Well... My weekend was awesum and colorfull :D and a bit drunk o.o

Hope you ppl had an awesome time too :3

Teenage sadness- wedensdayzzzz :D

There has been torn a hole in my chest and at the moment I seem to be filling it with sugar and sit-coms... I'm feeling like a chubby sad little kitty v.v


Drowning my depression in sugar
Living life at its worst
Only alive to see you
Dreams of us together torture my mind
I keep smiling at you
and hide the tears

But tears fall
when you look away
I need you
Or I can't stay
You don't belong on earth
angelic creature
so divine
wished you were mine

Living through another hopeless day
we're talking, laughing
Time's up and we go
our separate ways
you to her
and I to the loneliness
yet another day spend
Is it all in vain?
You make me forget the pain

But tears fall
when you're away
I need you
without I can't stay
I don't belong on here
Hellish creature
Too blind I still...
wish you were mine

I hope you don't see
How I try not to feel
around you and you're
irresistible smile
charming laughter
I'll keep on breathing
for the sole purpose of you
Hope dies as the last

Wearisome Wedensday

Well... bassicly it's just pouring down, it's cold and I have homework to do... so I decided just to give you a poem this week...

Maybe next week it'll be something a little more interesting of some sort (:
Hope you're all have a way better week then I am v.v *sigh*

I seem to have fallen for you
Like tiny drops of rain
Of a clear blue sky
You're never gonna know
Because I'm scared
Of how it could hurt you
If you knew
how love decided
to catch me of guard
and how I
out of the blue
Fell madly in love with you <3

'Till Next week ;** <3

Luvz and huuugz and kizzez xD ( No, not really, no...)

Mondays Hug

I'm unstable
when my sugar level runs dry
It takes you less then a word
To get me high
Not even one touch
and it has already been too much
My dreams show me every single wish
But I knew all off this
I knew I'd want
Something I cannot have
I knew I'd long even more
when I'd be ignored

A single word
and my secure bubble popped
A single word
Is never enough
A single word
Can hurt so much

Darling would you stop for a second?
stop being so nice?
stop smiling like that?
and kill me instead
I need you to
for my heart to move on..
I'm the saddest circus clown
Now it's just a frown
and imprisoned tears
from aching heart

Tea-Time! Thursday ^^

Heyy out there ^^

Well I promised to post something every week... and since i most likely wont have time this weekend (including tomorrow), I decided today might be a good day...

So bassicly, I'm just a really noce, quiet girl, who's a good listener and doesn't really get noticed until she has to work in groups with other people, because I am one of the few people in my classes, to actually pay attention ^^" ( yep, I got nothing better to do)...
It's not because I don't like these new person who I have to go to school with for the next three years... I just don't really feel welcome in their society.. so to say.
I went to a boarding school last year because I didn't really feel well at my school anymore... Now my only goal is to do well in school... oh, and maybe try to be friends with that one super overly cute guy who already has a girlfriend... or the muscician who seems nice but has some friends that don't really accept my defensive enclosed person... x___x

Yes I know.. I'm just being stupid, aint I?
But I don't wanna scare these people of by being the real freaky me xD

But what I wanted to post this week was just a short introduction  and now that's done...

I wish you all a fanbulous ( fantastic/fabulous) weekend!! ;D

Until some random point next week ;] <3

U still dere? o__o

Hey world!

I know it has been a minor eternity since i last posted something v.v Me sowway D;

But things have gone quiet fast here... end of school, suddenly my summer holidays were over at I started at a new school... my classmates are okay I guess... I don't really talk that much with any of 'em tho', I Just don't really feel welcome...

But anyho, I'm gonna be working on getting this blog-thingie to work... Like gonna post something once a week or month, gonna be al kinds of things :D poetry, thoughts, privat stuff :3 ( mostly the two first ones tho o.o)

So I hope somebody out there is gonna stroll buy and be like...
- oh... kewl... NEXT!
Oh wait ! :D not like that >_<"

But I hope there'll be some ppl out there which will get caught by my blog and think it's interesting or w/evz

Have a continually Nice day ;D

T-BREAK!!

Ps. This is my deviantart if you'd want to read some of the things i scribble down every now and then (:  http://weblameyou.deviantart.com/

International Cake Day?

Okay... so uhm... apperently today is cake day 0.o In denmark!! that's where I'm from!
So we're going to...

Enjoy it and eat all the cake we can!!! :D <3
Some of the girls in my class are going to bake us some cake, which we are going to eat later (tommorrow)

Have fun! Die young!